Victory over life

Im compelled to write this ..every day when i open the page of Jade Goody's cancer update ... i look at her picture , the ones after chemotherapy ,.. and it amazes me .. how beautiful she looked ...for a person who was dying , lost all hair to chemo .. she looked like an angel in all her pics .. like an innocent little child ..struggling and fighting .. but with no remorse on her face , wid a kinda peace , and full of hope ... yes hope .. dying but peacefully and wid zest , i asked my mom yday .. so wats d big deal , why so many tributes , a lotta ppl die of cervical cancer ... but i think i got my answer ... all these pictures of hers ... that look on her face of immense victory over life ... losing but yet winning ... in spirit and in the mind ... she won in spirit and that showed on her face , in all those pictures , and probably that why she tuched so many ppls hearts .. d reason behind all those tributes ... someone won inspite of losing...

Super daddy is waiting ...Ru ready ?

We can want all we want , but do we really deserve what we want .. often times i wonder , how is it that we dont always get what we want , when we pray for it and wish for it so mch , aint God supposed to be d super daddy who will always get us d gifts we asked for .. I am beginning to realize that the gift that we ask for is already packed for us , gift wrapped with beautiful ribbons , and with our names on it .. so why is it taking so mch time for those gifts to be delivered to us ? cos we r not ready yet or in other words we dont yet deserve them .. I read this in one of Cyrus' articles once that our prayer is heard when we make them , the delay is only cosve us .. we need to deserve our blessings ... and that .. is surely something that is left to us , God is ready to give us all we want , all He wants is for us to be ready too ... that is d circuit breaker ... us ... its upto us how soon we want what we want , we can wait another lifetime ... or , we can wake up right now .. work twards deserving what we asked for .. its all abt us ... take d responsibilty .. deserve it .. now !

LIFE IS WORKING .. RU LISTENING ?

Life --amazes me , its the best journey ever , the best teacher ever , it sobers u up , makes u live and die and live again ... gives u all it can and yet at times takes it all away from you ... you have to be a sucker at happiness to live it up and be one of those who can face challenges day in and day out to really get thru wid .. and yeah challenges but wid d widest smile ever .. you start it thinking it to all go how u wrked it out in ur head , and then along it comes ... if u cant change , it wil make sure u do , good bad .. whaetevr it will make sure like a strict teacher that u learn ur lessons ... so don be stubborn , get it right d first time or its goin to keep coming bck at u wid d same stuff over and over again ... d change is wat life is abt ... changing u .. making u better .. better and better each time ... it will draw out all d crap from you and burn it off .. all u need to do is breathe thru d heat .. and d end result will be a more compliant , obedient , resilient YOU .. and thats exactly what it wants ...as much as this whole thing sounds like an ordeal , its NOT .. its all about YOU .. and making YOU better ... thru all that hurt u and brought u grief ... its all for YOUR good , if u get d bigger picture right ... it will be plain happiness all along !

I give up

I walked with hope always

With a smile all d way ..

No matter what storms ..

No matter how hard..

I fell and I rose ..I always walked ..

I always believed ...

The sun will shine and so will d stars ..

In d gloom of the nights and in d light of d days

In all d springs, in d autumns ..

Stuck like glue .. to YOU

I always believed ...

It crumbles , and shakes me up ..

Waiting for YOU to step in and pick me up ..

Mend it ..

Leaving it all to YOU

Hands up , head down

I GIVE UP

If i may ...

It feels good today , not d usual upbeat (over) confidence that im usually in , but cos one cycle is over, or so it seems , makes sense ? I know it wudnt , to me it duz , didn’t know for a decade , didn’t even understand all this while , the why , the how ..the what …all the ‘?’ ..had no clue …speechless , blank , and loadsa dead ends ..so wats d deal ..someone up there ? knock knock ….?? Nope , that’s what I thought …oh well ..what was I hit by , a truck or did lightening just strike … phew …anyways …after a while there was no game plan ….jus give up , hands up ..heads down … get under the scalpel ..and don even bother asking wat the surgery is abt ..

All the chaos and commotion all this while ..and I thought it was abt me ..nah it wasn’t ..i was jus fooling myself by taking it so personal ..what a joke ! so they say …it was all part of a bigger picture ..didn’t I see it ? why wud I ? I wasn’t even told …oh yeah …they don’t tell u things.. u shud know , u jus learn em along d way !! u go to school ,then u give the exams , afr the exams u learn d lessons , u go thru all d grill , u probably even pass , but hey ….it wasn’t abt u all dis while anyways ..whatte fun !!

..well, well , well .. as long as its over …. What relief ;-)

ZIDD KARO !

The new dhoni slogan ''zidd karo'' and why not ? When u know what u want and why u want it ...toh zidd karo ... to whatever it is in life , small things or big ....its ur belief , stand by it ...its what u want ..get it....how many of us do it ..and if we dont , then why dont we ? is it coz we dont belive enuf in ourselves or is it jus plain fear ...is it being used to the stereotype ...and not having d ability to get out of the box ? what is it then ? if u want something really bad , and really really bad ....toh zidd karo ....

or is it jus the notion of getting what we want so strong that we actually lose perspective of how exactly to go get it ? and if we do , then do we really want it that bad ??

zidd karo ....itni karo ...kee haar jaaye kismet ke taare !

And i found way ..

A dark and ominous cloud surrounds and attempts to shut out the sun.
The joy and warmth of a heart of love shines on.
The darkness has not won.

A wavering deep within the soul questions .. Was I wrong? Did I stray?
Why would this wound me so?
I ponder and I pray.

My God of love is always there and He guides me through each day.
When I weaken and begin to question “why”.
He says, “my child, pray”.

For I will give you all you need
to “weather” such a storm.
Have faith in what you know is true.
My steadfast love transforms

A new day

Its a new day ..every day is a new day , but for me its new in the sense that it will bring me newer dreams and newer aspirations , the sun is shining in my window , the green grass in the park from here looks greener today ..its beautiful ..the lake is bluer than everyday ....and i look happier than most days ....the first day of the rest of my life has begun and it already is bringing me joy ...a joy of a beginning ..an untold and unseen destiny ....but here it is ...all i want ..all i aspire ....the first small step towards my destiny ....i am happy .it is a new day :)

Now...

Now makes me , now keeps me
Yesterday is gone ...it has let me go
How small would I be ..i ask
Superficial and shallow …selfish and petty
To not let go

Now is what I want , now is what I live
Its this breath now ,its dis music now
What I see ,what I live is now
How small would I be ..i ask
To not let go

The ones that hurt,the ones that lied
The deceits and the betrayals..to them I cried
The tears , the pain …
Are they the real bane ?
How small would I be ..i ask
To not let go

Not them who caused petty losses
Not them who didn’t care
Not them who betrayed and left
Not them who feared
Life is me ..and it is now

What is it that I fear ?
What is it that hurts ?
The nothingness amazes me
I have life and I have it now
Fearlessly March

Live not for tomorrow ..but now !