Its been 5.5 months ,.. My bundle of joy is called Aaruv .. Needless to say motherhood brought with it all the challenges and a lot of love . Thank you little one , you dont even know what you mean to me . :)) 

Leela

So Vashi Bhai said 7/7 .. Its almost 8 pm and there is no sign of baby yet . I am more stressed about him coming today than what the whole process will be . So what does that highlight to me .. Lack of shraddha .. Doubt ... Damn .. So many years and still doubt ?

He might just come at 11.59 and make it on time .. Im being stupid ...

When Vashi Bhai says ... It happens ... I dont know how ... But it does ... How is it going to happen today ... I dont know .... Just 4 hours remaining .. And no signs of labor whatsoever ... And I am worried but I shouldnt be ... I should just sit back , relax and watch the "prabhu ki leela"

Im smiling Vashi Bhai ... Im not getting fooled this time .. I almost did .. All throughout the day ... Not anymore ... I dont know how You will do it ... But You will. The baby will come 7/7

Irony

Been almost 6 months since i wrote anything at all . Too much has changed in the past few months .. The irony of life can stare at you so much sometimes that its hard to tell whats real and what isnt.
There's beautiful or rather the most beautiful things happening to me right now .. Precious little being coming into this world in the next 5-6 days .. Someone I will love cherish protect and care for the rest of my life .. Till whenever i live ... The most amazing thing is going to happen , has already happened and is only going to meet me in 6 days or so ..the feeling is over wehlming and then on the other side there is this other thing that saddens me immensely , unfortunate , i am heart broken .. Completely heart broken .. Almost shattered at being told another thing by someone very close .. Something heartless .. Cold and not involving any emotions at all . Lack of compassion lack of any feelings completely . Someone you thought cared for you , loved you and supported you ,alas didnt !

Life shows me two sides at the exact same time : extreme excitement and happiness at welcoming my son that has been growing inside me for that past 9 months and will be here on july 7th according to my Guru's prediction.Extreme remorse and sadness at knowing that there are people in this world you thought otherwise about who have no compassion ,love ,affection and who will let you go for no fault of yours .

So now the decision is left to me .. Which one do i want to make the core and centre of my life for the next few days . God here has given me both happiness and sadness .. What do i want to embrace ? The happiness of having a precious bundle of joy in my arms in the next few days , the sadness of knowing that someone didnt care .

A few days ago i was at the hospital parking lot ,,, i was crying cos i was alone ... While i walked through the parking lot i realized i wasnt alone .. It was me and my baby .. Both of us together there ... We had each other . We probably will for a long time