Can someone pls make me believe in love again ? 

 It’s hard to say what caused my indifference and it’s a multitude of things . This marriage hasn’t been what I thought it would be . I was put on a litmus paper test right from the start and I’ve been tested over and over ever since 

The parents in this marriage were very important right from the beginning , it was made very clear that I would always be secondary and the priority would be them . Ironically this was stated because the parents happiness was foremost yet years later they r still unhappy. 

There were cheating episodes , there were also humiliations and bad behavior towards me while being pregnant and then there were more cheating episodes 

When I found out about the last one a part of me died . And I felt nothing , just pure nothing . I may have been more shattered than I even knew but it was hard . I looked back at my life and couldn’t figure out what is it that I had done to deserve this .. I can only connect this to a past life karma but other than that I am clueless and I struggle 

 I don’t believe in love the way I did when I was younger or I don’t believe in at all . It’s a feeling of failure and huge disappointment . More disappointment than anything . I’m in this limbo 

I just don’t believe in love