Last week I had deep disappointment and regret and i prayed to Kakaji make him swaminarayan 

I was seeing only an only negative and couldn’t understand why I’m here 

I don’t make such direct prayers 

This was 16 Nov 

The next day nehu bhai messaged that santo wanted to come from padhramani 

I still didn’t understand but now I realize 

Maharaj giving sign He is so Pragat 

Kakaji is so great he listens and answers just like that .

I have my sign 

Thank you Maharaj 

Thank you Kakaji 

Thank you vashi bhai 

May I never forget this Divine grace 

 I loved love so much but love didn’t love me back and hence I could never find it no matter how hard I tried and now I feel like I’ve lost myself forever , the best part of my life is my child I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have him . 

I’m left deeply saddened and disappointed , heart broken and soul less . I’ve stopped believing in love , whatever I set out to find doesn’t exist or maybe it does but I couldn’t find it . I lost .

 Happy birthday J 

I miss you everyday but past few days and esp today I’ve missed u more 

Just wishing you the best of health and all possible happiness , may all your wishes come true 

The connection I feel with you defies time age distance and any kind of logic , it’s also pure and beyond my own understanding, and every time I think of you .. I feel that exact same ache in my heart like something pierces right through it.  

 My one true love - Aaruv 

 Can someone pls make me believe in love again ? 

 It’s hard to say what caused my indifference and it’s a multitude of things . This marriage hasn’t been what I thought it would be . I was put on a litmus paper test right from the start and I’ve been tested over and over ever since 

The parents in this marriage were very important right from the beginning , it was made very clear that I would always be secondary and the priority would be them . Ironically this was stated because the parents happiness was foremost yet years later they r still unhappy. 

There were cheating episodes , there were also humiliations and bad behavior towards me while being pregnant and then there were more cheating episodes 

When I found out about the last one a part of me died . And I felt nothing , just pure nothing . I may have been more shattered than I even knew but it was hard . I looked back at my life and couldn’t figure out what is it that I had done to deserve this .. I can only connect this to a past life karma but other than that I am clueless and I struggle 

 I don’t believe in love the way I did when I was younger or I don’t believe in at all . It’s a feeling of failure and huge disappointment . More disappointment than anything . I’m in this limbo 

I just don’t believe in love 

 I didn’t listen to Vashi uncle and I totally don’t want to listen to him again but guess how it turned out the first time .. I cannot afford for it to turn out even worse this time .. I just have to pull myself through this and hopefully it will get ok 

At work I focus on work and not on relationships 

At home also if I could focus on work rather than relationships it will work out but it’s hard . I just have to learn to sort out the emotional baggage