what moves me most: love
what hurts me most: lack of compassion ,hypocrisy,dishonesty
the only real thing : God
the one goal in life: maintain my integrity and identity

"Nothing worth having comes easy"

Whitney Houston died last week , is it the beginning of celebrity deaths this year ? Isn't it odd that name , fame , wealth doesn't keep one happy . Life comes so cheap. People die cos they don't have enough money in their lives , people die because they have too much money in their lives . Does money really have anything to do with people wanting to live or not then ? Isn't it so very strange ?Will a 500K job make you happy ? Will pics on a mag and recognition on the walls of a hall make you happy ? What kind of achievements does one need to be happy ?
What really is happiness ? what is happiness? I don't think we are ever completely happy , no one is .. is there ? why ? why not ? why does life just move from one sadness to another , one challenge to another , one unanswered question to another , one insecurity to another , one melodrama to another ?

You know why .. because we let our happiness depend on others , because we fail to understand that others will NOT make us happy .That THINGS will NOT make us happy. That money and fame will NOT make us happy . That a fancy car and a fancy house , a wardrobe full of Louis Vuitton and Armani will not make us happy .That a love that never was , a boyfriend that never will be , and a tear that was never wiped will always be an issue but they cannot be the things that keep us away from happiness  , from what we want and what we deserve .That love will remain unrequitted, hearts will remain broken , people will deceive , connive , cheat , lie , and be exactly what they are .. people of this world who came in to do all those things .. are we really going to let them decide our happiness  or unhappiness .So how do we preserve our sanity and make sure that our happiness is not always influenced by others , that what we are is not a product of what others do to us , but only and only a product of what we think and what we are and what we want to be .

Somehow other peoples influence on our lives takes over so much of us that we concentrate only on that and that is what determines our happiness  .. expectations are such a root of so much evil  , also acceptance .. we want to be accepted by others and when that doesn't happen we hurt. Maybe because we are not confident of the people that we are , cos we do not consider ourselves complete the way we are. Maybe one way of trying to be happy is to start by stopping to expect anything from anyone , stopping to want re assurance and acceptance . Accept that people do suck and its not a perfect world , it just is not ,see it for exactly what it is and stop trying to make it better cos that is not our job , our job is to only look out for our own selves , make sure that we continue to live by the ideals set by us . No one is going to change cosve us , no one is going to change for us .. no one is going to make us happy .. we are totally on our own in our our pursuit for happiness and we alone are responsible for it and the only way to achieve is detachment and focussing on our own lives completely ... Like yogi bapa says '' apna kar lo'' .. bas !

So is it that one can be truly happy only if they are either completely selfless or completely selfish ? 

Was seeing this movie 'strictly sexual' something they said made a lotve sense :

''Life is a bunch of stories , they all come to an end , and then its time to find a new one , are you ready to find yours ? ''

When you let real love pass you by , you give up the one chance you had at real happiness forever. Everything else after that is only one big compromise , and only you are responsible for it , nobody else.

Life is not a movie where once your heart is broken a hero will step in and make u believe in love all over again , in real life once broken is broken forever.

We will always crave for what we do not have and never appreciate what we do .. we fool ourselves our entire lives thinking what we do for ourselves is what we want and what will make us happy , the truth is we keep running from facing our own selves and in the process only accumulate more and more agony .

When you realize you lost what you most wanted because you didn't even know thats what you wanted while it was there right in front of you ... know that you have made the biggest mistake of your life ... and there probably is no going back now .. so what are you going to do ? what are you going to do ?

What are you going to do ?

Real Love :
Will never die
Will make u smile and make u cry too
Will be forever
Will adore your flaws too
Even the dreams feel empty without it
Goes beyond a lifetime
Is a little crazy
Hurts
Will make u wait
And then will be worth the wait too
will be misunderstood

Feels like it is time for a change , as I said earlier this morning Version Manveen 2.0 coming up. I was recently made aware of certain things about myself . I was 'pleasantly' surprised. I can tell you that they were not the best things one could say to another ,so why 'pleasantly' ? .. I'll tell you why .. hearing that I was selfish and didn't give a damn about others felt good .. because I have always felt that the biggest problem with me is that I am too self less and I think too much about others , so in some ways it was a consolation ,I always felt others were selfish and didn't think about others , well guess what ,.. we all are that way .. if someone can say that about me then most definitely its a trait we all have , some a little less , some a little more .. but its a trait I so badly wanted at least in some amount at least and looks like i made it !

So whats the deal with Ver. Manveen 2.0.. lol ... Time for a change ... ;)

The irony is that we think we can understand people when we cannot even know our own selves. Judging others comes with a huge responsibility .Saying that we know them and can hence point out their flaws and help them become better people is an even bigger responsibility and should be done by someone with a lotv'e precaution . I find myself very incapable of judging anyone , even more incapable of figuring out what could be possibly wrong with them and be able to tell how to correct it , when I do not even know myself . I am still work-in-progress , I'd just be glad if I can become the person that I want to be rather than want to be able to correct everyone else around me who I think is wrong .. God give me the vision to be able to only see my own flaws  and correct them and not take it upon myself to correct others !!Also give me the patience to hear others out when they tell me what they think is wrong about me .

I want to be able to live a life in which I commit no mistake .