While it feels like god is not on ur side cos nothing goes right believe He  still is in control no matter how crazy that sounds but He is 

You are trying to go to point A He wants you to go to point B 

No matter how hard u want to go to the destination u determined for urself it’s still going to go by His plan and that’s hard cos u don’t believe in his plan

Just start believing in his plan . Leave it to Him . Please .