There really seems no one free today to listen to my nightmare and calm me down , so im just gonna put it down here ... It was wierd , I was going for my UIC interview ,i missed my bus , got lost in the train , saw prajakta on the way and she told me the qs are tuf and she refused to tell me more than that , i got upset that she didnt tell me enuf when i told her every bit of my interview earlier ... i was scurrying everywhere to make it but everything was totally chaotic ... i cudnt find a cab , finally i found an auto , d driver was a weird looking man and a kid was also there, as he took me i saw around me broken burnt houses , demolished houses , ppl fighting , running and a lot of chaos .. i was scared , it seemed like some kinda riot or something ... it was 9.30 and i had to reach by 10 , i was sure i wasnt going to make it , knowing well that this cud be my last chance , i was yelling at the driver to speed up but he seemed to be taking me from the eeriest of places .. i found myself remembering nishi's number to call her , but i cudnt remember it correctly , i had lost my cell phone and was now using some old phone that had no numbers , then suddenly outve nowhere sme ppl appeared and started dragging me out frm the auto rickshaw , the driver pleaded to them to leave me alone ,,.. i was scared and the only thot in my mind was that what will happen of my interview ... suddenly i remembered Vashi Bhai ... i cudnt remember his no. but i cud hear him tell me that i will get admission into DDS , that was the only positive part in the night mare and i remember wondering to myself in the dream ... how am i going to get admission when i cant even make it to the interview .. and then i woke up .. shook up scared and worried and i called gaurav , he didnt pick the phone , he just called me to say that he is having a crazy day and will call me in the nite ...
I still feel shook up by.. but im trying to tell myself that in all the chaos i still heard Vashi Bhai tell me that i will get admission ... so i have to stop worrying ... that if all of those things were happening and He cud still tell me that i will make it ... then in real only very very few things hve gone wrong and i will most definitely make it , that He will make sure that i do ... Ive been touchy all day tday .. have been having this real sinking feeling inside of me ... and i hope it goes away .. cos i hate feeling this low .. that too cosve sme stupid dream ..
Honestly .. Its only God who comes thru .. in dis dream too .. I cud hear Vashi Bhai's voice soothing me ... and making me feel better , I wish we cud trust God more than we do , I wish we cud live fearlessly ,knowing that everything will be taken care of no matter what , that we are always protected , jus like a mother protects her child , so does He protect us always .. Oh God i really wish i cud be fearless so mch that nothing of dis sort shakes me up and that I can always know YOU are there .. I WANT TO BE FEARLESS
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