Faith and prayers

Its getting more and more hard by the day .. to keep it together and still believe that i will indeed make it this time , the closer it gets the tougher it looks and yes that is exactly where faith steps in , and in all honestly the real test of faith is when you really have no reasons to believe !! And how many times have i not been in those situations , one too many times but again when a similar thing is in my face I am here .. asking more questions .. I am not sure if i've written this before but there is this verse i read somewhere yrs ago :

Believe in love ,even when U don't feel it
Believe in the sun , even when it is dark
Believe in God , even when He is silent

Keeping the faith is harder than you could know ,especially when the reasons get lesser and lesser , when realistically speaking everything looks bleak , but then again the realism is only human perception . If I want to believe that I am dealt with at another level then the realism needs to be shunned ,I haven't been let down ever .. I just need to wait a little longer and pray a little more harder :)

A lot of times I feel that He is just waiting upon us to do our prayers the right way ,and when we do them He opens His doors in an instant and gives us the blessing we have been waiting for , its like in the blink of an eye , that everything we ask for can be ours , but it takes time cos we in our lax attitude and inability to connect to Him in the right way ,miss out on ASKING ... from the bottom of our hearts .... the more i think about it , the more i realize ... its just me ...

One more time...

Yell OH ... and here we go .. yes yes ... one more time .. one more time ... last time ? do not know .. can only hope .. against hope and against more hope ... the MDQ arrives ... so was it really worth it .. or one more time .. as usual ... back to where we started from ... oh yes both of us ... yes yes ... u my heart .. I am talking about YOU ... its all about you .. has always always and always been ... ru ready for the magic ... RU READY ?

aww, argghh... uff ... nooo ... FOUL!!

Admission worries..

Apprehensive .. very very .. its indescribable almost .. the whole admission process. Always tend to ask yourself ..what more can i do to make sure that I am doing my best ,the wait is really excruciating ,wondering if all the applications are complete , if I did really make a good application or did i miss out on something ..hoping and praying that it all goes exactly how I want it to. Its so hard to wait for the schools to get in tuch and say what they r doing wid the application , there seem to be so many candidates with equally good or bad stats , everytime im on SDN I have this sinking feeling ,OMG really this is one huge test of patience ..a few more months and i'll know but still .. still ... still !!!!! What if ... i don even want to go there ... seriously God pls make sure I get thru somehow ...

There seem to be broken hearts everywhere . And I am forced to ask .. why don't people respect love or feelings anymore ? Its not about the rejection but more about how its put forth.. why is there no compassion anymore ? Why do not people understand that when someone cares for you and when you are being outright blunt with them it seriously hurts .. the spoken word can be a spear sometimes .

The youngest friend i have is going thru .. what i can say .. her first heart ache and unfortunately so it comes in the harshest way possible ..sitting here today i can probably give enough testimony to the fact that it will be allright but what i cant come to terms with is the harshness , heartlessness or the coldness so to say.Is niceness and compassion such a rarity and if it is then what kinda world are we living in where human beings do not in the least care for one anothers feelings and it has nothing to do with love , plain simple humanity at times ... which in some ways should be our basic nature ?

I know there is a lot more that goes on in the world that has little or nothing to do with compassion .. and i wish there was more of it cos that wud make dis world so much more a better place to live in.

She ..

She laughs
She sings
She hurts , she cries
She dances like a doll
She prays
She dreams
She hopes
She wishes on a star

She's happy
She's joyous
She's sad
She's crazy at times

She's beautiful
She's lovely
She's an angel

She's the heart in me ..