Just stay right there , A-Okay ? Dont let those beliefs u carried all these years leave u now . Remember the cliche.. it is always darkest before dawn ..

Everyone deserve a second chance . No matter what mistakes we have made, no matter who we irked and hurt .. from repentace and penance must come forgiveness and  a second chance .. to make amends .. the question is .. is one lifetime enough for all of it ?

I dont know ..hopefully it is , cos if it isnt then the viscous cycle will go on ,cos everyone deserves to be happy even the ones who did the most hateful things .. or do they dont ? again I dont know .. we will see:)

P.P Bharat Bhai on 11.19.11

• I am a forgiving and loving person
• I am responsible for my own spiritual growth
• My strenght comes from forgiveness of those who hurt me, the more I love the more that love is returned back to me .
• Be a winner in good times and a survivor in hard times
• Change your thoughts and you change your world.

When life hurts , and hurts real bad .. rejoice ... because ur bad karma is being washed away. God and all of his angels are very close to you and are looking over you . When u feel a lot of pain .. let that make u happy than sad .. sounds stupid .. but do just that , because this is when life is under construction , and every thing inside of you thats bad and rotten is being recreated , resurrected .. the old is being crushed .. feel the pain but know that you are only a few steps away from happiness , and this time it will be real and forever .. as they say it is darkest before dawn .. God is working on your life and till He makes it okay ,jus bear with Him .. smile cos nothing lasts forever , least of all pain .

Say a generous thank you to the ones who hurt you , they indeed are the medium for your happiness..

Thank you for hurting me .. for helping me get rid of my own bad karma .. U probably are the path I need to take for my Moksh.

So I have no clue why this blogspot was not publishing posts since so many weeks , or has it been months ? I don't know .. I tried wordpress , got all confused .. and then tried to just figure this one out , and looks like its working now .. some new interface that it needed to be updated .. oh well whatever !

So part 2 is done and I am awaiting results , they shud be out anytime , probably tomm , i didnt chek my mail tday , cos I was too scared ,.. dumb i know ... I have to see them some day ... I hope its all okay .. but till the time I dont find out I am going to worry about it ! That said .. CRDTS on the way too . exactly one week .. brings me one more step closer to my DDS .. yipee .. its a good feeling .. DDS but it comes with all of these exams that I need to challenge .. phew .. too many .. test of nerves , patience , faith in ownself .. just stay calm .. thats the mantra .. jus keep doing what ur doing and know that it will be okay .. do not freak out or let the stress get to you .

I am doing pretty well .. in my given circumstances , I couldn't be prouder .. I have been through enough ( yr ) .. and am still standing my ground like a bull., completely and totally dedicated twards everything that I am up for right now . i know one thing for sure .. i am not giving up without a fight .. and then ofcourse .. I am almost there .. am I not ?

Kind of saddened. Beginning of the end of democracy in India ? I am so shocked and surprised. So even if Baba Ramdev had or did not have political motives, it really wasn't right for the police to arrest him ,use tear gas , lathi charge people when they were sleeping ,.. huh .. really ?I am so so so taken aback by what has happened there .. a total mockery of democracy.

I wonder what sunday morning in India is going to bring.

U know life has taught u enuf when u can be heartily laughing and the next moment can break into tears.When it gives u sorrows but still enuf happiness to go on.

Ab bas ?

Isn't really the first time when I have felt disgraced and demeaned by what mankind has taken to, I reel under what I read about the big schwarzenegger betrayal.Feel heavily saddened by how disgracefully low people can get , but somehow am pretty amazed at the strength of his wife Maria Shriver, who still showed up at Oprah's and wore a smile too.

We all have have our own tailspin of sorrow and agony .. but what is the limit of any of the sorrows and disappointments one can be faced with ? is there any really ? How much can one be dealt with before life itself says ... ab bas ?I believe we will not be dealt with more than what we can handle , Any situation that we think is going to knock us off comes with the tag on it .. 'u can deal wid me , thats why I am here' The stronger we are the more we are tested. And then what really helps us go on ? Our own inner strength , at times also the realization .. that there is not just the body consciousness but also the soul consciousness and somehow I have learnt that pain is good for the soul .. almost can say .. pain is food for the soul ..

The joy is in living ... inspite of all that disrespects , demeans , dishonors us .. the joy is in saying to ourselves ... I am bigger than anything that comes to me .. and I am not going to let this get the better of me .. The joy is in knowing that all that is trying to kill my spirit is actually rejuvenating it .. The joy is in being ME inspite of everything thats wanting this ME to change to someone else .. The joy is in knowing that all the wrongs didn't dampen MY will to be kind ,compassionate and still be a good human being.

As Cyrus rightly said .. The broken heart has God on its side , the one that breaks it has a long way to go.

Life

For all that is whole and all that is not .. it all comes back. We over estimate ourselves and under estimate the magnanamity of life . The four letter word is sheer power. It is amazing how u can probably fool everyone around u but no matter how hard u try .. u cannot fool life. All along u think ur getting away with what u did and smile secretly inside knowing little that try as hard as u might .. life will have the last laugh. Nothing or rather noone comes undone.. without a tinge of doubt .. u cannot escape it .

When u think u have some chapters closed in the dark corners of ur heart .. there is life watching over u .. and it is going to make sure .. the closed chapters open ... the dues are paid .. they have to be paid .. cos life does not and will not spare anyone.

Know it .. pleasures of wrong doings are short lived but the regret is forever. And the best part is .. u think u will never regret .. life has a way of making sure u do.

Pal bhar mein kaise badalte hain rishte..

Congratulations India .. for bringing the world cup home after 28 years , and giving us a memory that will last forever . It was a perfect game and a perfect team .. spot on fielding and awesome batting , an error or two that u can ignore cos we won , but probably one of the best victories we have had. Moment to cherish and remember .. miss being in India .. but yayy .. love being an Indian

Life isn't always beautiful ? There is always something that needs to be taken care of and we always tell ourselves once this is done my life will be perfect .BUT there isn't a perfect life . We make perfect of it in what we have ..

I've been going from exam to exam in the past one year , and all around me i listen to people saying how hectic everything is .. how we have little or no time for anything else .. how every one of our weekend is always occupied in studying for something or the other , or how every one of our evening is spent in practicing for this performance exam or the other ... I find it to be a mini version of the real world where u r occupied all the time in one thing or the other and there really isnt going to be a time when u actually find urself free of every hassle and totally enjoying life .If we keep waiting for that time, it is never ever going to come . Like now ... if i keep waiting for a time when i am ''examless'' and can actually enjoy a good movie or a good dinner or just a good gym time ,.... it really isnt going to come .

So whats the rescue mantra ? ... dont wait for that perfect time cos it aint coming ... make good of the tiny intervals in the madness of life to just find some time and really LIVE ...

2.21.2011

I have a new idol !

Freedom

So Egypt is finally a free country , proving the power of non violence yet again . 18 days , thats all it took for a group of people to free themselves of a 30 yr long rule by a dictator who heard no voices and only believed in imprisoning people who didnt support him . This is surely power of the people , nonviolent but yet so powerful . They didnt need any army or bullets , all the needed was a determination and unity. The belief that what they were doing was right and in the best interests of their country ,no personal gains or motives , just plain simple freedom ,justice does prevail . When people unite for a common goal selflessly the largest dictators have to fall .That is the power a common man has , he doesnt need anything else just a motive and strong will.

I heard the interview by Wael Ghonim , the one who spearheaded these protests . A 30 year old manager at google ,what he said moved me .. ''I have a life , a job , a wife and kids but I am willing to give all of that up and die , because enough is enough ,we want freedom'' It totally reminded me of our freedom struggle so many years back when people did give up their lives for freedom , I take this moment to thank all of them for what we have today , and generations later people in Egypt will thank these people ..

History is made and I have witnessed it ... God bless Egypt.

life indeed is fragile

i am shocked , numbed ... suhas is no more ... i cudnt believe it when sankalp called me .. couldn't make sense of it , but its true .. and as devastating as it may be .. it reminds me yet again that the only one power that runs every single thing on earth is God , and He can pull strings we cannot even imagine .. in wildest of our wildest dreams ..

He was a healthy 33 yr old guy with no medical history whatsoever , thats what makes this all the more unbelievable and unnerving ... a young wife and a 2 yr old daughter , a widowed mother , and a number of ppl who knew him as a pleasant helpful and kind young man .. i hope God gives his family the strength to go through what has befallen them ..

Every time i think of his family a chill runs down my spine .. what do they have left to believe in ?

There is a mix of so many emotions , sadness , helplessness , powerlessness , and then gratefulness towards what we have and the need to appreciate the breaths we take every sigle day .. I ask myself .. how do i go thru everyday without thanking God for keeping me alive and giving me the life that i have ... this reminds me how we do not appreciate our life with whatever burdens it comes with ... it can be taken away without any single reason .... and what we can be left with is just a cold body .. lifeless

Yet again reminded of the worthlessness of it all , i sit here almost numb .. failing to understand how fragile life can be .. how thankless we can be ...

Thank you Lord .. for today , for everyday

r e m e d i a t e

So school is getting serious now , and its time for a pep talk .. why do i suddenly need it , cos i hve to remediate something .. and it obviously makes me feel bad ... its going into zones of ,.. am i that bad ? or jus staying in the zones of .. im getting a second chance and so some extra practice ...which is good ... i just wanna make sure tht i do not end up thinking on the 1st lines .. the am-i-bad lines that is ... lets just start by being non judgemental about our ownselves , there is a thin line to walk when it comes to evaluating urself ,being overly critical , and still being fair ... i just want myself to understand that its ok to hve to repeat something , it does not mean that i dont know what im doing it simply means that i need to take a deep breath and do whats needed and get done wid it !sometimes being mechanical helps ... objective is the right word , but im going to stick to using mechanical .. just do what u gotta do ... all of it is only and only to make u better at what u do ..and its ok to go wrong now when the damage is minimal , than later... this is going to hurt jus a little bit or probably nothing at all ...

As we go in deeper , it gets tougher . It gets extremely difficult to cope , what with the people around who keep planting seeds of doubt in the mind , and you have to fight all the things that u see and only keep trusting your heart .. but the poor heart is already so battered that it doesn't anymore know what to feel , so what to do u do ? when u dont even hve your instinct by ur side anymore ... what is it that u trust in ? .. sometimes i think , if ur left with nothing to trust in jus believe in ur own goodness , thats the least u can do ... atleast u have that .. and ur sure abt that one .. there will always be a ''what if'' ,there will always be a dark part to every good thing , a negative side to every beautiful thing ... every story will have a flip side ... there will always be demons , all u can do is keep the faith , in urself , mebbe when nothing else wrks ,that will !

P.S: The doubts weren't so uncalled for after all .. whoever says i have a crazy gut has no clue wat im talking abt .. my instinct vindicated one more time (5.5.11)

no they wont ..

Ppl will lie , deceive , will be cold ,dishonest, unscrupulous, uncompassionate . For some reason i could never understand how ppl do certain things , lack of conscience , lack of sensitivity towards others , deception ;it would simply be beyond my understanding , maybe cos these things r very important to me and i havent seen them missing in me ever. Some things come naturally to ppl , and these r some values that are naturally inherent in me .. and so i kind of always judged ppl wid the bar i made for my ownself failing to understand that ppl r not like me , they are different , they do not hurt when other r in pain , they do not need to be honest at all times , they do not think of placing others happinesses ahead of their own , they are manipulative , self centered and consider their own benefits always .. that is just the way they are , and for some reason i spent this large amt of time and energy waiting to see if they cud either change or if i cud find ppl who were not like that , the question is .. why do i need them to change ? why do i need to find ppl who r not like that , in a world that is completely filled of fake ppl .. isnt it just time for me to realize and be happy with the fact that i am not like them .. and so there still can be hope !

Thinking of you fondly ..

This one is for my husband , who i miss so very very much and think of more than a million times a day , he is one fantastic human being , really good at heart , patient and kind . Always knows what the right think to do is , and never ever is judgemental about anyone . Sometimes im surprised how he liked someone like me !!! oh well i prollly do have some qualities but the more i think of him i realize im so full of flaws , but gradually can work twards each one of them , prolly cos i have someone around me who sets the benchmark for me in so many regards , undoubtedly im his fan , ive prolly not even told him that myself ..

There r times when i get irritated by his objectivity , and wonder if he even has a heart .. but those r times when im getting super subjective .. he has learnt to build a good balance ...

I miss you :(

Count your blessings

There has been a plane crash with 152 out of 169 people dead.

This makes me shiver and literally so . Tragedy is never going to be anyone's part of life , it strikes and leaves u right there to introspect and know that life is so beautiful while its still there , its as much as magical and miraculous to simply be alive .. and not sometimes but always .We take it for granted so many times and stop appreciating the simple things that make our lives whole and special ... the people , friends ... loved ones.

As much as any tragedy would move anybody .. what it does to me is that it reminds me to appreciate what i have and thank God for it ;always know that i cannot take even one day of my life forward without the blessings of someone up there.

That said .. so the people who died .. didn't have any good blessings remaining ?Id say that was the group karma , and the few who did survive were not part of it.

Thank you Lord ,for all the good blessings ... well there arent any bad ones either ;)